Monday, November 5, 2007
Dear Friends,
Many of you have been calling or emailing lately and
wondering how we are...
We are still at the ranch. Since we just weren't finding anything to move into, I called the ranch owners last week and asked for a 2 week extension on our move-out-by date. They agreed and said to either be out in 2 weeks or have earnest money and an offer down on the table ($10k~$20k). And I then asked God to give us all of it (the earnest money), or none of it, so it would be crystal clear to us what we were supposed to do.
I was going to make the final decision last Friday night, to either start winterizing and chopping firewood next week (if we stay), or start packing to move (since we didn't have any earnest money). Then someone called unexpectedly about 8pm or so that evening and told us that God had led them to wire $5,000 into the Bighouse ministry bank account, with the assumption that it would be used towards earnest money to buy the ranch - we can't touch it for personal needs obviously, which includes our own moving.
That means that God has provided half the minimum we need to put an offer on the table with the owners, and thus buy us time until some more churches/individuals sign onto the project to help, for my income from writing to kick in, and for us (Karen, me, and 8 kids) to winter here and buy other property and move ourselves offsite next spring when my writing income comes up even more. From our new home offsite I can better coordinate prayer ranch renovations and activities by allowing me to separate family and ranch life somewhat.
The next immediate question is, does anyone else care to help us purchase this place to make it into a prayer conference/retreat center? Anyone care to match this gift? And yes, we can still give out tax receipts.
BTW, the other day I finished the rough draft of "The Innocence of God," I've had some good feedback on it already as well as serious publisher interest. If you would like a rough draft copy to proofread for me (NOT for general distribution or forwarding), please feel free to ask.
On a more personal level, the limbo of not knowing what we are doing or where we are going has taken a serious toll on Karen and the family. It has concerned me too, but hasn't GOT to me personally quite like it has everyone else. Nevertheless, it's been rough on us. It's good to be near the end of the waiting process. I personally believe that we are supposed to winter here and move offsite next spring/summer. I believe that we are supposed to get this place and develop a place of retreat for people to come seek Yahweh's face. There's been too many people see in dreams, visions, and prayer, this place being used in that capacity. There's been too many direct answers to prayer. I had to be able to let it go last month, personally, and start planning for an alternate future for my family. But then God started answering direct ranch prayers. And now half the earnest money is here, after I asked God to make it all or nothing. What I see, and am now going on is, it's not nothing. So it's apparently going to be everything. So that's where I'm headed. Like with Abraham, I laid my Isaac (this ranch) on the altar and was prepared to walk away, but God is apparently giving it back to me. Pray for us, and consider partnering with us somehow. It can be exciting to be a part of something like this, where lives get changed -as ours already have been :-).
Note. I am not asking for personal support at this time. Too many people have accused me of being a lazy mooch for even mentioning the idea several newsletters back. It hurts, honestly. I work 30~35 hours a week in nearby Idaho City at a real job, trying hard to make ends meet for my family. My manuscripts are starting to sell. My first book royalties start in February. I'm starting to make some money on the side selling stuff on the internet. If you feel led to help us, great, and believe me, it helps (8 kids is a lot), but I'd much rather see people join together to make this prayer ranch a reality, have some ownership in helping something cool come together, and make an eternal investment in wounded people's lives. I don't feel any shame at all in presenting people with an opportunity such as that.
As for day to day stuff, the hydroelectric setup is running pretty good finally and producing about half of its capacity right now (200 of 400 watts possible continuously) which over a 24 hour period adds up to a lot of power (at least for up here). Thus we turn on the gasoline backup generator a lot less now. We also have tentative plans in place to secure a big fuel cell generator (VERY low maintenance) that will produce up to 10kilowatts of power, almost what the average home on the grid in Boise uses. Hence, we can do laundry at home! It's the simple things that add up to huge frustrations sometimes. Eight kids produce a LOT of dirty laundry, and $60 per Laundromat run every other week is ridiculous. Likewise, I think I almost have a hydrogen gas generator functional too, which means a lot lower propane bill (hydrogen can replace our propane).
What else? Josh and Connie, 1 month newlyweds, got all Josh's stuff moved out last weekend and are now safely back in Portland where they are building a life together. Congratulations to them!
I'm slowly building a new internet business and getting lots more writing done too, both things of which are slowly (painfully slowly sometimes) starting to produce income for us. This is an answer to prayer for me. God is good.
Now for something that has brought excitement to my wife. Karen has been accepted into an internationally certified training program to do family coaching for families with members with ADHD (in order to get certified herself and build a new business/ministry in the local area). Something cool happened with this where we only had $200 of the $400 needed to sign her up. Then we went to a Boise halloween event called Light in the Night, a Christ focused alternative to normal halloween stuff for kids, last week, where Karen met a woman who God had told to set aside $200 for a special need He had in mind. So apparently this woman carried this $200 around with her in a little silver box for like a week before she met Karen, at which point God told her to give it to Karen for her class, without this woman being otherwise told that $200 is exactly what Karen needed. It was kinda cool *soft chuckle*. Karen needed that God fingerprint that night.
Another direct answer to a ranch prayer request.... I have asked God numerous times for extra RV's and/or camp trailers for the ranch for temporary housing for people to stay in here when they come to visit or work. We have received ONE small one in the last 4 years (this past spring). But just last week, we were offered two big ones, one for free, and one for $300 (currently sitting on property next door). Both of them need some repair work inside, but it's easy stuff. It's another thing to add to the suddenly growing list of answered ranch prayer just since the landlords asked us to move on... *confused grin*.
Ya know, I have noticed something about Yahweh. When He tells us to do something, He usually gives us a choice. Last Friday, Karen talked to some people at a church down in Boise who (if I got the story straight) tentatively offered us a large house to stay in, rent free, till we get our feet under us, in the town of Star no less, the one place on the local map I hoped was in my rear view mirror forever (the offer has actually since been withdrawn). Moving there or even just to Boise would mean us moving this week, transferring the kids to new schools, finding a new church, finding new friends, Karen and I both quitting our jobs up here and starting over with job search in Boise, liquidating tons of ranch related donations, me dredging up memories and scars that are better left alone, and us all forgetting the ranch dream for awhile or possibly forever. In all truth, I have seriously balked at the idea of moving back to the valley, and I resisted this offer too. Then less than 8 hours later (after I told God that if that was really where He wanted us to go, I would do it), half the minimum earnest money amount to buy the ranch was promised by someone else (and has since been wired into the ministry account), to allow us to stay here through this winter and continue developing the dream. Now I have a choice.
Do I bag it all, choose to believe that no one or Yahweh care enough about this dream in one week to help with the rest of the earnest money, and do I return to "normal" "American dream" life, or do I choose to praise Yahweh for beginning to answer one of my deepest prayers, and do I plow forward with as much momentum as I can muster and try to earn, find, loan, or request the rest of what the project needs? Do I believe? Do I? How bad do I want to see this dream a reality? How badly do I want to reach out to wounded people that will probably wound me back at some point? Wounded people wound people. How deeply do I trust God, or trust that I have heard Him clearly in His directions to me? How easy would it be to be "normal" again, and stop having people criticize me and my judgment and fathering skills for trying to build a life for us up here in the clear mountain air where life is harder (but then I also can't help but remember my 2 years in Ecuador as a kid as being 2 of the best years of my life, in spite of all the criticism people heaped upon my parents for taking their family to a low income, sorta stable, third world country.....). Questions questions questions. These are some of things I sometimes find myself thinking about...... And I have a choice to make. One of them includes obedience to God, believes for more, and requires blood, sweat and tears, while the other is to return to the easy life in the rut I broke out of 4 years ago. It's a harder choice for a lot of people than what you might think.
Fortunately, I think the family is all pretty much on the same page finally about one of our options, including Karen and I (we've had some rough days recently communicating with each other). We all want to stay here in the lodge at the ranch for the winter, continue to renovate the lodge while we're here, then build our own house in the spring on a nearby property that is closer to the hwy and bus stop, and move into it next summer while I just come to work each day at the actual ranch. They mostly just really don't want to have to move twice inside of 8~10 months (now and after a new place is built). So I think that God can finally do something now. The family was divided before, and it almost felt like His hands were tied, in that no matter what He did, someone was going to feel alienated and hurt by Him. But now that we are all on the same page, He can work. I think... At least that's my thoughts..... So we'll see.....
Some nights, when I look at the enormity of everything happening to us and around us, I just shrivel up inside. Then I remember who I serve, and usually someone calls right then because God "just happened" to lay me/us on their heart at that moment, and I take a deep breath, put my head down, and plow forward once again.... So thanks, truly thanks, for everyone's notes, encouragements, and prayers. God has heard each one of you.
Thanks for praying for us
-Tim, Karen and family
PS. If you want to help us purchase the prayer ranch property, make it out and send it to BigHouse Ministries, Inc, at 21 Yellowpine lane, Boise, ID 83716, or contact me for other donation arrangement details.
PS2. Don't forget to pray for Todd's safety, our board member currently in Afghanistan on a work assignment.
208-392-6723
timbenedict@peoplepc.com
http://www.bighouseministries.com
21 Yellowpine Lane, Boise, ID 83716