Dec 15, 2007
Dear friends,
In the interest of keeping this letter shorter, I am only
going to hit some of the highlights of the last month, before I share
some musings.
1. We have, through several gifts and donations, just over
$9000 in the bank earmarked for the earnest money that will accompany our offer
to the owners of the ranch (they say they want to see $10,000...). My goal is
to get the offer on the table by the end of this week or shortly
thereafter. Since we promised them an offer, they're letting us stay, at least
for the moment.
2. We recently sent out over a hundred postal mail letters
with info about the project, pictures, and an opportunity for people to pledge
support, prayer, and/or join the prayer team we are setting up to
handle call-in prayer requests as well.
3. I had a meeting Dec 7 with our lawyer to
discuss details of the offer we will give the owners. It was a good meeting,
and I am drawing up the offer now.
4. Karen's brother Jeremy came to visit for a week in
November. Here's a link to a slideshow that he put up on the net with
a bunch of his thoughts, pictures, and impressions of the week he was here. http://tinyurl.com/2wa26h .
He's back this week as well for several days to work on projects with us. We
enjoy his company.
5. Several weeks ago, we pulled in another cord of firewood,
and a neighbor who decided not to winter up here also gave us hers (another
cord or so). That's an answer to prayer. Then last week, me and the kids
skidded 3 more big logs (another cord) down to the house, then cut and
split them, all in one big team effort. It was good to feel and see that
teamwork happening. They did good. We're good through January now. I have 4 or
5 more big dead snag trees on the back of the property picked out to
knock down and cut/split soon that will get us through the rest of the winter.
6. I finished the rough draft of my book, "The
Innocence of God," and gave copies to several people to give me feedback.
I had several of both very positive, and very harsh, responses. Some of this
feedback I still need to incorporate back into the manuscript. But it was
interesting to note that as soon as I sent it out, I watched our family's
emotional welfare be thrown immediately into chaos, worse than anything
we've experienced as a family so far. We wrestle not against flesh and blood,
and things were just not happy in the family for several weeks, and I
couldn't put a finger on a source, or something that had changed (other than
finishing the manuscript), to cause such an instant upheaval. I finally had to
admit that the chaos had to be spiritual in origin. I wish I could
say I was an angel through the whole thing, but some of my own emotional scars
got ripped open too, and I had to work through a lot of yuckies along with
everyone else in the house. Please pray for us. Every time I think we're about
to make progress with things, or do something that is completely God-centered
(like this manuscript), it seems like all Hades breaks loose. I know who
the author of that is, and I don't serve him; I serve God, and I plead
for His protection over us. In all honesty, I am almost dreading
working on the manuscript again because I know it will provoke a spiritual
response from the enemy again, and in all truth, I am tired/weary.
7. I'm part way through final editing of the second book of
my sci-fi trilogy. I expect to have it published as well by next summer. The
already written third one will prolly come out the summer after that.
8. I'm almost finished with another manuscript called
"101 way to generate web traffic," geared for people wanting to build
online businesses.
9. A serviceman pressure tested our propane system so that
we can finally hook up and fill a big 1,000 gallon tank sitting several
hundred feet from the house (so we don't have to keep relying on little 5 or 25
gallon tanks that run out very quickly). Now we just need several hundred feet
of 3/8's inch copper line or half inch iron pipe to reach the
tank.
10. I attended a Christian men's conference in Boise 2
weeks where I got good "big picture" back in mind, some good ideas on
being a better husband, and some ideas on reaching out to my children more
deeply.
11. The IRS has sent our non-profit application back to us
with a list of things to fix before they will give us full non-profit status.
So I guess I'm starting in on that process again. *long deep breath before the
plunge*
12. Karen and I took a short 3 day vacation in
Oregon last week just to clear our heads, pray, and make some
decisions about our future. It was hard to come home and jump back into
the "grind"... On the way home we hit a deer dead on at
nearly full speed, and by the grace of God we weren't hurt, and the car
remained drivable (though it did an estimated $2,800 of damage).
13. We're tired. It's been a struggle for my new family to
adapt to a harder way of life up here in the mountains. Karen is no
longer working at the school because the family just plain needs her at home.
I'm still working in Idaho City though, now learning bus mechanics through
the same company I've been with for awhile now. I'm
frustrated by many things about our situation (in particular that I
can't devote more time to my home and family), and Karen is also, as are
the kids. And these frustrations get taken out on each other. I'm
very weary of this dynamic, and Karen and I are trying to
instigate/model more appropriate ways to deal with it, without getting
overwhelmed and reverting back to operating out of woundedness instead of
out of a clear positive expectation and reliance upon God's love, care,
protection, and mercy.
And herein lies one of my own personal dilemmas, and my
musing for the day. See if you can follow it.
In reviewing everything we have tried to accomplish
here, I remember back to when God told me to "build me (God)
a children's home" originally, and in it, focus on prayer, and
teaching people to meet with Him. That was the original directive. That was
all.
But being up here, with the possibilities this property
presented, led me to expand the focus to include youth ranching, camping,
hosting conferences and seminars, etc. And twice (once directly and once
through a pastor friend this past summer), God very strongly reminded
me to keep the focus on prayer, and on Him, instead of on all these different
programs that we could do.
In obedience to the original directive, I married
a single mother last summer with 7 wounded children in her care.
Including my own daughter, that makes 8. In my simple mind and thought process,
it made the most sense to me to work with these other 7 kids, and
best model healthy Christian living, by actually making them my
family. And that immediately raised an interesting dynamic as far as building a
bigger ranch.
If I was simply working with foster kids, and kids not my
own, two things would be happening. I would be very bold in asking for support
and donations to take care of these kids. And secondly, people would be a lot
more willing to give it. As soon as I made these 7 kids my own personal family,
I became a lot more hesitant to ask for help, and people became a lot more
leery of giving it. So ironically, by devoting the rest of my life to
being these 7 kids' father in order to impact them directly and on a
deeply personal level, I actually hurt my chances of being able to provide for
them in the way I had originally expected. Does anyone agree with me that
something is desperately wrong with this picture? It makes me wonder if
there is some "magical" number of kids that I need to adopt
before people stop saying, "Tim needs to provide for his own family
all by himself", and/or helping us simply because we have become a charity
case. And how many kids do I need to adopt before I myself feel comfortable asking
for and accepting help? In all reality, 8 kids per family was pretty
common even just 60 years ago. In some parts of the country, it's still
very common even today. And yet the best way I know to take care of a otherwise
homeless kid is still to adopt them. Do I adopt, or not? Should every +/-
8 kid family need welfare just to survive? If so, what is our country
coming to? I struggle with all this.
And by the way, a side note here. Karen and I have already
decided that if more children that need a home, and especially babies that
would otherwise be aborted, cross our path, we will always
consider taking them in (and have offered twice now in separate
situations), not because we're trying to reach some magical number of children
to qualify as a children's home, but because we care about kids, especially
ones that need a family.
But my dream and passion has grown, this desire of mine
to work with wounded children and people, and several of my 8 children have
really embraced it for their own as well. We WANT to make this ranch a reality,
a place where people can come pray, get away, and find healing. It's true
that at least one of my children can't wait to grow up, move
back to "civilization" and leave this ranch, my dream, and their
family behind, but several of them now also want very badly, like me, to
see this property become a place where, as a team, our FAMILY operates a place
where wounded people can come and find healing in the presence of God. And
therein is where I find the only reason I can find, to approach people with the
opportunity to build a bigger dream, and invest in a much larger group of
people than just my family.
Pray for us as we sort through these issues and struggles.
Prayer requests:
1. Pray that Karen and I don't get so consistently
overwhelmed by everything that we have to do.
2. Pray that we learn to get along as a family and quit
taking out our frustrations on each other.
3. Pray that we can finish winter preparations (now that
there's already several inches of snow on the ground).
4. Pray that I can model appropriate Christian life for my
family, and can be a good father and husband.
5. Pray that Karen has the energy and ability to be a good
wife and mother.
6. Pray that the rest of the money that we need to buy this
place comes in, either through donations or through my own work.
7. Pray that our family finances will stabilize.
8. Pray that we can positively impact our children and
wounded people around us.
9. The flu and/or bad colds have hit our family. Yuck....
Praises:
1. Uncle Jeremy is here to visit again.
2. Our son with ADHD is getting help
3. Karen is learning lots about working with ADHD
families and our own children
4. Had a great snowball fight with the kids today.
5. Fairly steady work for me (Tim)
6. Still here at the ranch (owners letting us stay on the
promise that a contract offer is coming to them ASAP)
7. Kids are enjoying their new bedrooms for the most part
8. Got enough firewood to keep the house warm
9. People are praying for us, and helping us out when we
need it, often before we even make a need known.
10. Karen and I had a chance to get away to reconnect, pray,
take a deep breath, and discuss some hard issues
11. We are making slow progress making the place warm, cozy,
and presentable. Progress is progress, I say.
12. God is taking care of us and hasn't forgot us.
13. Hydroelectric system has been pretty stable and
consistent lately *whew!*
14. A ton of little things that I see Him doing almost every
day in the world around me.
Sincerely,
-Tim and Karen and Family,
208-392-6723
timbenedict@peoplepc.com
http://www.bighouseministries.com
21 Yellowpine Lane, Boise, ID 83716
PS....
For those of you that are curious, here's a partial list of
projects on my/our plates right now. Anyone care to help? :-)
1. Cut down, skid to house, cut and split, four or 5 more
dead snag logs for firewood to finish out the winter.
2. Finish mudding, taping, and painting the new bedroom for
Viktoria, one of our 12 yr olds.
3. Redo IRS 501-c3 paperwork and finish and present the
offer to buy the land, track down additional funding
4. Build enclosure over hydroelectric generator to protect
it from the elements
5. Finish re-wiring the battery/electrical system
6. Fix the leaks in the hydro-electric pipeline (currently
losing about half our pressure/power to leaks).
7. Fix pipe in the laundry room that froze/cracked last week
while we were away.
8. Get pellet stove fixed/installed in back bedroom area
where several of the kids sleep (or a propane heater or ??).
9. Get propane system hooked up to the big tank near the
house.
10. Build a covered/enclosed barn area for the chickens and
rabbits.
11. Get various junk piles scattered across the property
cleaned up and disposed of.
12. Track down good 10kw fuel cell system (or American
diesel if nothing else) to install for better power here
13. Fabricate new doors for the wood stove.
14. Finish editing books 2 and 3 of my sci-fi
trilogy, and the "Innocence of God" manuscript
15. Finish/market the website
marketing manuscript
16. Frame in front doorway/porch area and install new
outside light and doors for firewood storage area
17. Burn trash pile
18. Fix 2 foosball tables
19. Get propane dryer installed (that we already have) and
get laundry room up and functional (after we get 10kw generator above)
20. Install third hot water tank for hot water storage.
21. Fix solar panels whose glass cracked over the summer
(all 8 of them)
22. Cut down trees that block the winter sun from solar
panel location on roof of the house
23. Insulate ceiling, then sheetrock, mud/tape, and
paint spare bedroom/storeroom
24. Finish framing/enclosing generator room
25. Finish framing in the hot water tank closet
26. Fix Subaru engine head that blew 2 weeks ago.
27. Start scheduling church/civic/home presentations for the
bigger youth/prayer ranch dream
28. Hang doors in at least 4 doorways in the house that need
them.
29. Finish trim work in most rooms that was either pulled
down before I moved in, or I just never got finished
And the list goes on. This is just what comes to mind right
now just sitting here... *rueful chuckle* I guess it's a good thing
that I enjoy working with my hands.....