Dear friends,
As before, this letter has 2 main parts, Tim's life per se,
and then Children's Ranch stuff. And let me tell you, there is some seriously
neat stuff going on in both areas... *smile*. Be sure to read both!
Someone made the comment that I reveal an awful lot of
personal detail about myself in these newsletters, more than they would
themselves be comfortable sharing.... But the way I see it, that if God is
glorified, and can be seen, in even the smallest details of life, if someone can
draw encouragement from seeing those things, then I can share those things in
freedom...
And before I get into anything, I just want to give God glory
right up front, for being such a loving, gracious, and good God. He is so
awesome. I was just singing in the shower the other night, praise songs that
welled up from deep inside me, lifting up His name in such joy and desire to
honor and glorify Him. And yes, there was a reason I was feeling that way
*grin*.... Keep reading....
3-9-2004
Tim's life......:
My divorce is due to be finished/final next week. Me and my ex
(Pauline) were able to work out most of our differences and at least
compromise. I am not happy with the results, but think we probably have as
good a deal as we am going to get concerning custody of Vanya (Pauline will
still have primary custody though), without having a lawyer to represent me.
At the end of the last custody/divorce hearing with Pauline
before the judge here in Emmett, the judge made the specific comment that
he awards attorney fees.... It took awhile for what he said to sink in, like
later that afternoon..... but I think he was basically giving Pauline
permission to sue me for all her attorney fees (I still do not have an
attorney). As it sunk in what he said, I was furious. I was beyond furious. I
was as angry as I have ever been in my entire life, just at the
injustice of it.
But God pointed something out to me that I needed to remember.
I have dedicated my life to serving Him in ministry and building this Children's
ranch. Every day that Pauline delays me, every penny that she costs me, she is
no longer robbing me, she is robbing God. This is God's fight now. I needed to
let it go. I need to forgive. I need to let God deal with the situation. Can I
say that that was a pretty hard thing to swallow? I went down to the gym and
worked out hard for awhile, went home a slept awhile, and even then, while
repeatedly affirming in my mind that this was God's fight now, I was still
feeling a lot of tension and anger. It wasn't until the next day that God sent 2
of my best friends, Godly people both of them, over to see me where I was
working, to pray for me, that I started to feel some measure of peace about the
situation. But it was pretty intense in any case.
But that also brings up something else. Pauline needs prayer.
The lawyer she hired to fight me apparently has quite a record of voting in the
state legislature against marriage and for abortion. I don't know what that
reflects about where Pauline's heart is, but now that I have asked God
to forgive me for the bitterness and anger and unforgiveness I had towards her,
I am starting to see her own need now. And she needs
prayer.
Some other things. I am behind on a number of bills. Is true.
But God is slowly bringing in work that I can do to pay the critical ones...
That's kinda neat right there even.... *smile*
The water bill is one bill that I got horribly behind on, and
my water was disconnected. At first I was seriously unhappy about it, but then
it dawned on me that I had needed to turn the water off anyway to do some of the
plumbing upgrades that I had planned for this house here. So I was happy again
*chuckle*. And God had worked it out before hand that I already had a membership
to a local athletic club/gym just 2 blocks away (in return for some web work I
would do for them). So I just started going down there to take my showers. And
have intentionally left the water turned off until I can get these plumbing
upgrades done...
And get this, the owner, bookkeeper, and maintenance man
at the gym are all solid Christians. I was amongst brothers and sisters there
*happy smile*. And God started deepening those relationships I had with them,
and creating divine appointments through them, and just totally using me to
bless them, and they me. We have had quite a number of early morning prayer
meetings together down there. God totally turned a bad situation around for
good. It is so awesome to see that. So if you need a athletic club membership in
Emmett *grin*, I would heartily recommend the Accelerated Athletic Club there
*smile*.
Which brings me to the shower I took down there tonight
where I was so happy praising and worshipping God (I like to pray in the
shower).
This afternoon, I was just praying that God would continue to
open doors to the ranch. But I had some tithe money that I was praying about who
I should bless with it. And I have been asking God to show me who, for several
days. And He finally pointed someone out to me this afternoon. So I blessed them
with it, and told them why, and what it was for, and they told me that they had
just been praying earlier today about essentially the same exact
amount that they needed for a critical bill. But it was a big step of faith for
me, because the amount I felt I should give, and the amount that they needed,
was about half of my sum cash assets.
But I affirmed to this person, that I was putting God first, I
had asked to give this amount of money to someone, and He brought them to mind.
I reminded this person that God also loves a cheerful giver, and that I was only
too happy to help out. And in reality, in giving this money, I no longer had
enough money to put down for first month's rent at the ranch. But I affirmed to
this person, that if God wanted the ranch to be real, He would bring in the
money, one way or the other, even if I gave everything I had away, because I put
Him first, and He loves a cheerful giver. They say you can't outgive God.
Besides, I figured that when God did come through, it would be a neater
story to tell, a story of faith *chuckle*
And let me tell you, after I blessed this person with the
gift, I was on cloud nine. God just filled me with this incredible joy and peace
that was indescribable. It was soooooo amazing. I know He will come through in a
way that just displays His love and reality. I couldn't help myself tonight in
the shower. I WANTED to sing praises. I WANTED to worship Him. I WANTED Him to
know how much I loved and appreciated Him. So I just sang.... *contented
smile*.
What else...... Oh tonight, after giving away that money, God
brought in a potentially big construction job, that would MORE than cover the
amount that I passed on.
God continues to bring divine appointments across my path, because I am
open to Him doing so, to where I get chances to witness to people, counsel
people, mentor people, and in general, just point people to Him. Witnessed to a
woman just last week for over an hour. Angie. Seeds were planted there. And
others. 5 hours with another woman that God told me specifically to meet
with online because she was hurting too bad to hear his voice directly. Total
divine appointment. And she said that it helped, and thanked me. She still
needs our prayer... God has some awesome things planned for her as she comes out
of this low point in her life...
And God has blessed me with some truly wonderful friends that have come
alongside me and have committed to praying for/with me too, being my friend, and
several of them, committed even to helping make the ranch a reality. They
honor me with their friendship, and I honor God for providing them. God is truly
good. One friend in particular was used in a huge way by God at just
the perfect moment when she came alongside me and went out of her way to
minister to me in my pain/grief over the divorce and losing my daughter, and
provide me with two extra sets of hands (she and another friend) to help me
finish a time sensitive project that I am working on all day to finish
up this week so that I can make the move to the ranch in Idaho
City...
So this last month has been a month of both serious struggles just to
remain optimistic and sane, and one of excitement about life moving forward.
There has been several situations with one person in particular that I
feel I have let down because of my distraction with all the court
stuff, but that situation too is slowly also being resolved.
Someone has come alongside me to help me in that situation. Progress is
good, and I am thankful...
And that brings us up to the children's ranch!
In some ways I keep putting off this letter, because almost
everyday something new happens that is so totally a God thing, that I want to
get all of it in the newsletter. But it would never get sent if I did that!
There are so many things happening here that it is
just insane. SO many answered prayers. I could again talk for hours, but in the
interest of time, I will try to give you just the gist of what is
happening....
So 3 weeks ago, I was feeling discouraged about this house,
and my ability to finish it up to sell so I could move to the ranch. I think I
mentioned some specific items of need in last month's newsletter. But a toilet
was among the needs, to outfit the second bathroom I am building in. And Sunday
afternoon 3 weeks ago, I found a guy who had just pulled an almost new one out
of a closed restaurant who said I could have it for free. And another friend
offered to pick it up for me and deliver it to me! *chuckle*. That toilet was
such an answer to prayer *chuckle*. My discouragement was broken by a
toilet..... All I can say is that God must have a sense of humor.... *laughter*
Also that same day, I prayed a prayer to God, asking Him to
lay it on someone's heart to give me $1000 so that I could pay rent on both this
house and the ranch, for April, so that I could start moving.... It was only
maybe a 2 minute prayer. But Monday morning, the very next day, and I kid you
not, a friend tracked me down and said that he didn't have many finances
himself, but that he felt like God was asking him to give me, get this
*grin*, one thousand dollars.... I was so excited.... *grin*.
And I'm going to finish this later when I am not falling
asleep at my computer.....
4-11-2004
more ranch stuff....
God is so good... *contented smile*
He has replaced the money I gave away the other day, with
double what I gave......
After the newsletter last month, with specific requests, God
answered specifically through several different people. Someone offered use of
their 5kv generator, use of their dump trunk, and use of some spare lumber they
had, the NEXT day after the previous newsletter went out... *happy smile*.
God answered the prayer about bathroom fixtures for this house (now I just need
time to put them in!). God answered prayers about providing some work so I had
cash flow to move forward with (am still behind though *exasperated shrug*).
There have been other specific answers to prayer also that have been
exciting....
We have a lead on a 5th wheel RV that someone will potentially
let us have for a $1000, just for living space for different staff starting to
move into the area, as we set up individual residences for people.... (Anyone
want to donate to this?)
A friend, who owns his own video production company, has
agreed to work with me to put together a video of the dream and project (anyone
want me to come present the dream/project/vision to their church or civic
group?)
I had Easter dinner today with several families from the
church near Idaho City that I had made connection with. 4 God things came out of
it *excited grin*
1. Car was overheating going up into mountains to eat dinner
with this family. Stopped finally, prayed over car, radiator cooled within 10
minutes to where I could open it without even a hiss (miracle?) and was
able to top off fluid. No more problems the rest of trip.
2. Made connection there with a man that speaks and leads
another youth ministry in Boise County around Idaho City. He is dealing with a
suspected true demonic possession case in one youth, that I was able to
encourage him in and offer my support in (have also dealt with it myself). He
promised to be calling me as the situation progresses. Pray for this
situation.
3. Met a man there who God called to Boise County 7 yrs ago,
telling him that he would be involved in ministry there. His passion is training
chaplains and shepherds. He has quite a ministry actually. But we talked about a
lot of interrelated dreams and thoughts, and how we can join forces on some
things. He is also a builder and offered to help out in that capacity
too at the ranch, in some level.
4. Pastors wife that was there, BEGGED me to let her come help
clean the ranch when I move, to help get it livable for myself, my daughter,
staff people coming in, and eventually, everyone else. She begged me! This woman
has a servant's and missionary heart, and prays constantly. She has been one of
my staunchest prayer warriors in this ranch project, and is someone that
encourages me weekly. Pray for her. I am thanking God for her.
But this man from item #3 above, is also running for Boise
County Commissioner. Paul Stutzman. Pray that he gets elected. The current Boise
County Commissioners have been decidedly unfriendly to other children's related
ministries in Boise County in the past, and it is something I had laid before
God. And God is raising up Christian leaders to replace those currently in
power, even just to trailblaze for the ranch, and pave the way for us. Pray that
Paul is elected, and if you live in Boise County, vote for him.
What about new staff?
There is another friend of mine from Oklahoma strongly
considering the move up here for 6 months, just to help get the place cleaned up
and ready to go. Potentially he will be here within a week or two. He will
remain unnamed for the moment.
There are 2 different builders besides the one above, who have
committed to checking the place over for me and telling me what I need to help
get it going. One of them is also interested in working with the kids directly
himself in special outings and activities. The other one has offered use of some
of his tools and expertise to do the actual needed construction. Both of these
men are named Dave....
There is another Christian woman, a single
mother, who is considering coming to be a part of
establishing the ranch (we are still working out the logistical details of that
one and don't know yet if it will happen).
There is a man who is an ex school resource officer, who has
agreed to serve in an advisory capacity and even potentially do school resource
work with us as we get our homeschool established. Don.
There are several electricians interested in helping
out.
There is a BSU accounting student that I have asked to work
with us on accounting stuff, and he is thinking/praying about it.
David. Pray for him.
Another single mother interested in exploring
ways in which she can help out.
Another man who is praying about joining on long term in a
ministry role, who shall remain unnamed at the moment. He and I have had some
good conversations too *smile*.
Another prayer warrior (now up to ???) praying for me and
ranch stuff. God is faithful!
There continues to be low level interest among some of the
different churches in the area as well.
I had honestly wanted to pay the first months rent at the
ranch (until we can sign a lease option, fund raise, and submit
a purchase offer) and be moving the first load of construction
materials and my stuff up to the ranch, today (Easter Sunday - appropriate time
to be starting a new life and ministry), but it did not happen. So much still
that needs to happen first, and I am stepping out in faith big time.....
*nervous chuckle*... The past 2 years have been leading up to this point, and I
am suddenly nervous, even as I can already smell the pine trees... wow..... A
little scary... *chuckle* God answered another prayer this weekend with
some work, so I can make the move. Am going to try to meet with the current
ranch property owner today or tomorrow and work it out so I can start moving
stuff immediately.
But the springtime of my life and ministry is upon me. And I
am excited *contented smile*.
Specific needs and prayer requests:
1. We need help cleaning up the ranch property and making
it livable for myself, my daughter, and staff people moving in. There is more
that needs done than this one woman from above, and myself, can do. If you,
your church, or your youth group are interested in being a part of a local
project and making something happen, contact me asap, and let's
talk!
2. I simply need someone that is willing to help make stuff
happen. Logistically with everything starting to happen, I need the help... I
have quite simply not had the time to devote to everything that I need to to
make this project a true reality, and yet, God is still making it a reality.....
*smile*
3. If someone is willing to start taking on monthly support
for either myself, the ranch, or our staff people, we would be more than
grateful. We want to make the ranch self sustaining and supporting, and that is
the long range plan, but until that is a reality, my focus will continue to be
split if I have to work full-time as well as establish the ranch.... In myself,
I am not worthy of the investment, but I AM asking people to come alongside us
and help make this project a reality. $400/mo would pay the monthly rent on the
ranch until a lease option to buy can be put in place and exercised.....
Anyone interested in helping with this?
4. We simply need prayer. Prayer for us as God brings us
together as a team to establish this ranch, prayer that I make good decisions,
prayer that God brings in the right people, prayer that God's love and power are
displayed through our work here, prayer about everything as we move forward.
This is a God-thing, not a Tim-thing. I am only the catalyst, the vessel, that
God has chosen to establish this new ministry. And I/we need that prayer
covering.
5. My back. I threw my back out Thursday moving lumber for the
ranch, and I am in pain!!! This is so not funny! Am surviving though....
Tylenol is my friend....
If you have further questions, or want me to come speak to a
group, or are interested in helping out in some way, I want to talk to you. Let
me encourage you with the awesome work God is doing here!
And if you have offered to help out in some way in the past,
and have not heard from me, just drop me a note and reaffirm your offer so that
I can start organizing things. thanks.
In Christ,
-Tim
PS. Feel free to pass along these newsletters, or sign up to
receive them, or if you don't want them anymore, tell me that
too.
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