August 31,
2007
Dear
Friends,
The tone of
this note is going to be more positive than the last one. I'm saying that right
up front.
At the end
of this note is a reclarification of our goals and dreams; you might want to
read it if things lately are confusing you about where we are headed.
The funding
door we thought was open to us two weeks ago has been shut pretty hard. When it
did, several things happened.
I went into
a funk that lasted for several days. Karen did too. The kids didn't seem to be
too affected by it/us until this week, just about the time I got my act
back together again. Then people started either encouraging us, or second
guessing our decision to even be here and questioning our hearing God's call at
all. It's been kinda strange, in that respect, to see how different friends
have reacted.
And as I
thought about things, and read all these peoples' responses to my last note, I
realized that in some ways, I haven't focused enough on the positive aspects of
living here and building our dream. Most of my past notes have been about the
battle to be here, rather than the joys of being here. My bad. My apologies. So
while we do indeed have some serious prayer requests (not the least of which
was our 15-yr old son taking an unannounced "walk-about" yesterday and
we didn't know where he was - he came home last night), I want to spend time
today talking about some of our joys and victories in being here. I want to
focus on being thankful, instead of being discouraged. I realized that I
was in direct disobedience to God's already revealed will/scripture that says,
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything give thanks," and the one
in Phillipians4:8 that says to focus my mind on positive/good things. I
was anxious, worried, not at all thankful, and focused very much on the
problems here, rather than the good things. So I asked God to forgive me for
all three things, and I'm trying to fix my mind on the proper things now.
So here is
a list of things that I am thankful for in my current life and situation.
Financially,
we are in the best location I could hope for, from both a rent standpoint, and
my own debt standpoint.
Considering
that I've made my living for several years on the internet until this last
summer of logging and being married, I have enjoyed being here and simply
telecommuting. I don't know of anyone else that gets to watch wild turkey in
the driveway while seated as his desk working.
We live in
a peaceful place, where visitors often claim to feel the presence of God.
The owners
have been very patient with us (almost 4 years), as we have tried to
build a dream here. (They have not asked us to leave yet, even though we missed
our contract date, and I'm guessing that they prolly won't until they get
a solid buyer).
Through my
thoughts and musings in these updates, and even my struggles, God apparently
has encouraged and challenged a lot of people. I'm thankful for that. My
struggles and lessons learned here have not been in vain (several people have
pointed this out to me. Thanks.)
We are
surrounded by wildlife here.
We have
creeks to swim and fish in and trails to hike.
We have
electricity most of the time and high speed satellite internet 24/7/365,
through solar panels, generator, batteries, and hydropower. What we pay
for in gasoline for the generator, and propane for the stove, is less
by far than the utilities we would pay for in a house of comparable size
(4500+ sq ft) in "civilization."
We get to
live in a 4500+ sqft house while we build our dream.
Everyone
either has their own bedroom here, and shares it with just one other
person (or two when Vanya is here).
We have
enough wood around here for the wood stoves to keep us plenty warm
during the year.
People
enjoy visiting (as long as we are in balance ourselves of course *sad
chuckle*).
Living here
has taught our kids about responsibility, taking care of pets and farm
animals, and working together as a team. This is priceless.
We have
unlimited, absolutely free hot water, everyday, while the sun shines
on the solar panels.
We have
plans to make the power more stable (expanding alternate energy options),
the free hot water longer-lasting, and they are "doable" (I
enjoy projects like this).
Working on
this project has helped cure me somewhat of my hate for paperwork. I
tolerate it now...
Working on
this project brought me an awesome wife and family.
The roads
up here are all private, so the kids can actually learn driving skills (well
supervised), and help out with the local chores and errands (and get a jump
start on their friends with driving, and be better trained in the process by
our supervision and local practice).
The kids
have learned about personal responsibility and safety, both in their actions,
their fun, and the places they go. This too is priceless.
Both
through my interaction with the fire department up here and by simply living in
a forest where forest fires do occur, several of the kids have learned to
respect fire better, and not follow pyro tendencies that could get them into
serious trouble elsewhere.
I have
learned about God's provision, God's care, God's love, God's timing, and a host
of other things about God that would have been more difficult for me to learn
while in "civilization".
I have had
a chance to heal from my first marriage up here (as has Karen and the kids from
theirs as well).
I have had
a chance to develop my writing up here in the peaceful wilderness.
My children
(most of them anyway) have bonded with me here, and have respected me because
of what I have taught them about nature and about living here.
We have
decent neighbors, most of which we are on a first name friendship basis with.
We have
enough room to host big BBQ's, potlucks, birthday parties, and other big get
togethers.
The snow is
beautiful in the wintertime.
We can
enjoy winter sports without having to go anywhere.
Being here
and working on this project allows me the chance to try to put into practice
some of the things I read about in the lives of some of the great Christians of
the past that I admire (like George Muller, whose biography I just finished
reading).
We drink
unclorinated, pure mountain spring water, all the time, right from the source.
We have a
guest room for friends and family to stay over.
We have
lots and lots of room to grow, expand and build.
We can
raise farm animals here and have pets. The kids especially like this.
We have a
swimming pool that is waiting for us to fix as soon as money for a contract
comes through.
The
property has tons of potential.
Now ask me
if I want to move back to civilization...... *sad chuckle*. I guess it's all
about counting your blessings, seeing your glass half full, and not
complaining, but rather giving thanks in everything. I wish I could say I had
been doing this all along, but I'll admit, I had several pretty black days
last week. And in all fairness, not everyone in my new family is happy to be
here. They make it known almost daily that they want to move elsewhere,
have hot water all the time, have stable power all the time, and live closer to
friends. But these voices are in the minority, and I cannot change what I
cannot change. I focus on what I can. Moving is simply not a financial option
for us right now. So I am CHOOSING to focus on the positives, and try to
be thankful in everything.
And
frankly, my focus right at the moment is to make my family comfortable for the
upcoming winter and make enough money to make our ends meet and pay off our
debts. Money that people donate from this point on will go directly into the
ministry bank account for use later (instead of renovations right now) unless
otherwise specifically dedicated by the giver for our personal
discretionary use.
Just as far
as recent events in our lives go, here's a nutshell.
Karen got a
job as a full time special-ed aide in Idaho City at the elementary school. Some
of the situations she sees kids in are enough to break your heart.
The fuel
pump in the suburban died on me the other day in Boise, so I need to
change that. It died just as I reached the top of a major hill, from where I
could coast all the way into a gas station parking lot down the road. If it had
died a half mile sooner, I would have had to walk (with 3-yr old Isabella with
me) several miles up hill to reach a store with a phone book. If it had died
two miles later, I would have been on the interstate freeway, again walking
with my daughter. So even in the bad stuff, God is still watching out for us,
and protecting us, and for that I am very grateful.
School has
started for the kids, and for the most part, they seem to be adjusting and
doing well.
We've been
doing family circle each night for a number of months where we read a chapter
from a Christian biography and a chapter out of the Bible, then pray together.
That has seen both incredible good come out of it, and incredible tension
at times. Doing things for God sure seems to provoke chaos sometimes....
But the progress we have made as a family through it has been worth it I
think.
I asked God
2 weeks ago for enough money to catch up our major bills and float us through
for a week while I got things caught up around here. He immediately answered
(like that afternoon). So I have been working from home this week. I got
another book submitted for possible publication. I have been getting some
of my old business websites back up and running on the net. I tripled our hot
water storage capacity so that we can have hot water all day long instead of
just when the sun is directly shining on the solar panels. I've also been
evaluating plans and options for more stable electricity, and for more of it,
and will be working on those ASAP. And next week I will be looking for a better
paying job (we just couldn't make ends meet with the log skidding job).
Whew!
And that
about wraps it up. God is good, and I trust Him. I thank Him for where He has
me right now, and I am content that He knows my comings and goings, and directs
my steps as best as I allow Him. He Is my God, and I would serve none other.
Clarification
of our goals. We want to buy this property here to build a prayer/conference
center in order to do these things: 1. The highest focus that we can have
here is to teach people how to enter the presence of God and pray/listen daily
to Him in their own lives. Prayer needs to be so much a part of every
single thing we do here that we are changing our name to "The
Father's House of Prayer on Thorn Creek". Without this focus on prayer, we
will fail in our primary calling to reach out and bring wounded people (this
includes you, me, and everyone else) to healing/God. 2. We want to run
camps/retreats for youth, other wounded people and foster homes through
which to accomplish goal #1.
Does this
make more sense now?
To those of
you who pray for us and lift us up to our Father, thank you so much. Thankyou
from the bottom of my heart.
Sincerely,
-Tim,
Karen & family
208-392-6723
timbenedict@peoplepc.com
http://www.bighouseministries.com
21 Yellowpine Lane, Boise, ID 83716