Dear anonymous :-)

I take your email in the spirit it was intended, constructively. No worries.

And yes, I recognize that I use very informal English when writing these
emails :-) A large percentage of my list are people for whom informal
English is normal.

Someone else said the same thing about "looking for a handout", so
apparently I need to be much more careful about how I word things. I walk a
fine line with every single newsletter that I send out between being honest
with my needs so that friends that EXPECT to hear about my needs can pray
for them, and those people that think I am using it as a passive/aggressive
method of begging. It's tough :-(.  I have a work ethic, and I despise being
called a moocher, or even having to rely on someone else for anything, but I
also recognize that this project is bigger than just me, and I have to give
other people the chance to join in. So it's hard striking the right balance
each time.

In response to some of your concerns (what am I doing to provide for my
family, how will I support/staff the ranch, will I follow through with the
dream?):

I recognize that I will never be able to appropriately provide for my family
on $16/hr. So that has lead me to consider my options.

Last summer, I did some real soul searching and came to several conclusions.
The only good ways that I will ever make enough money to support my family
and run the ranch, are ways that depend on my mind, not my physical
strength.

This lead me to consider my options.

1. I could do real estate, and even got my license to do so, until I found
out that my broker was embezzling funds/committing fraud, so I left that
firm and gave it some space. Then the housing slump hit the wider area, and
real estate stuff is not for the newbie up here in the mountains anyway
(though I am trying to keep the option open for the future).

2. I could go back into computer network administration. I have made good
money in the past this way, up to $50/hr freelancing, but with the glut of
PC techs now in the Boise area, and the speed at which technology moves, I
am now behind the curve and thus have had little to no response from the few
applications I have sent out. And given that I live on the ranch an hour out
of Boise, I cannot truly support clients anymore freelancing either.

3. I could go back into computer programming. I earned good money doing this
once too. The drawback here is that the freelance programming industry is
now competing with people in India, the old Eastern Bloc, and places where
programmers are working for dirt cheap. It's no longer a viable option, not
only because it's so cut-throat, but because it's so tightly tied to my
time, just like physical work is.  This also goes for the freelance writing
and manuscript editing that I used to do.

4. I can write. I have been actively pursuing this one. To date I have
published via more traditional methods, one sci-fi novel, the first of an
already completed trilogy
http://www.amazon.com/Pawns-Taste-Power-Hellzai-Trilogy/dp/1424183642/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1201792464&sr=8-1. I
get my first royalty check from this one next month (one every six months).
I have no idea how large or small this will be, since I have not had the
time to adequately devote to marketing it. I also have 2 more youth oriented
sci-fi manuscripts completed that I have not done much with yet, and a
fantasy/sci-fi trilogy started (halfway through the first book so far). I
have the 100+ page "Innocence of God" manuscript within a week of being
completed, whereupon I will pre-release it on the web, then find a
traditional publisher for it (have had three offers so far).

    I have also published a number of smaller ebooks on the web (see below).

    I am currently researching material for a book on Joseph's famine in the
book of Genesis, and archeological evidence of a global nuclear war and
ensuing 7 year nuclear winter that followed (possibly tied into the
disappearance of the civilizations of Atlantis and Lemuria), whose
archeological time frame matches Joseph's famine almost exactly. This one is
a serious, in-depth, scientifically based manuscript that I expect to sell
well and generate tons of interest and controversy (both of which will drive
sales).

5. I can make money online, primarily using my writing. The neat thing about
a good website is that it can be automated, making money with as much or as
little overhead time as I want (to free up my time to do things like build
and run a camp/ranch). This is the option I have chosen to pursue, in
conjunction with option 4 above.

    I have published 2 smaller internet ebooks
(http://www.howtogetbettergasmileage.com,
http://www.101webtrafficgenerators.com) that I am just now starting to
seriously market, and both of which are already starting to generate sales.
I wrote and published http://www.handwritingselftest.com, another site that
I am just now starting to market seriously.  I already have a commitment
from at least one high traffic website (45,000 hits/mo) to advertise my more
religiously oriented works (Innocence of God, and my sci-fi trilogy). I have
published a website http://www.timsbooks.net in order to start selling
stuff.

    I'm also already in the process of building multiple other sites to both
market my own products, and to affiliate-market products that I have access
to and that I believe in. I'm not perfect at it yet, but I am making
progress with it, and getting better at it. Progress is progress, no matter
how you slice it.

It's all about generating multiple streams of automated income. With this
option I can support my own needs, while also generating income to work on
the ranch dream. This is one of the methods that the online millionaires
use. I'm investing my time and energy into this option while I continue my
$16/hr day job, at least for one more month, at which point my goal is to be
up and running on the net enough to be paying our bills. After that, it's
just a matter of scale, marketing, and adding products, websites, and
additional income streams, etc.

As for supporting/renovating/staffing the ranch itself, I am working towards
several ends.

1. I expect to be heavily investing in it myself with proceeds from my
internet sales and writing royalties.
2. Todd, our friend and board member, took his six-figure job in Afghanistan
specifically so that he could support renovations on the ranch while also
putting enough into investments to allow him to work here full time someday.
He's been working in and around children's ranches for as long as I have
known him (6 yrs?).
3. We have multiple churches solidly interested in using the facilities
here, and possibly participating in an "Adopt-a-Cabin" sponsorship program
of renovation.
4. We have commitments from a number of people to provide professional
white-collar services once we own the property and begin functioning.
5. I worked in camp/ranch settings for years, and had informal training to
this end.
6. We are actively networked with a number of professional organizations in
the area who already work with at-risk, disabled, and/or disadvantaged
youth.
7. We have had interest from professional house parents, camp
administrators, counselors, and others, all of whom desire to work for/with
us. We just haven't been able to employ them yet. Ducks have to be in a row
first.
8. I have tons of grant information to apply for once we are in operation.
To my dismay, I discovered that most grants are set up to fund programs, not
buy property, so I haven't pursued grants much yet, though I plan to to help
hire staff, implement programs, etc and so forth, once we own the property.
9. I have a solid network of friends, including several retirees, pastors,
and other professionals, that have pledged to work or volunteer here once we
are operational.
10. My wife Karen is going through training right now online with a school
back in Boston to get her international certification in life-coaching,
specializing in ADHD. Her background before me was as a successful pastor's
wife and administrative assistant/secretary at George Fox University. All
three of these skills will be (already are) used here.
11. I have prepared/am preparing presentation materials to give to churches,
civic groups, and other interested parties in the area. We've had several
trial runs with several of these presentations already, with good feedback
from them. But the primary objection we hear always comes back to hesitancy
to commit to something that the property isn't even bought free and clear
for yet.

How committed to this dream am I?
1. My commitment to build this dream was last and the final straw that broke
the back of my already dysfunctional first marriage.
2. I have talked about this dream for 4 years, been called every name in the
book, survived a second ill-fated romance with a woman who did everything in
her power to dissuade me from being here, and put my blood sweat and tears
into this place. I can not easily walk away from this kind of investment. If
it all falls through, sure, I can leave it behind, but it would not be
without serious regret. I've walked away from things before, and could do it
again if I had to, but not happily or easily.
3. Several of my kids are banking on helping run parts of the ranch
themselves - eg, the future skateboard park, the petting zoo, the horses,
etc. Karen likewise actively talks about the ranch and passes out business
cards in her circles of influence. Pretty much my whole family wants to see
this place succeed, with the possible exception of one son.
4. I married a single mom with 7 deeply wounded kids of her own, because I
fell in love with them, and my heart went out to them. And frankly, if I
could not prove in my own life that I was reaching out to wounded kids
already, how could I convince anyone that I was serious about working with
other people's wounded kids in a bigger setting?
5. My wife, mentioned above, fell in love with me at first because I DID
love kids, esp. wounded ones. To ditch it all now would show an incredible
lack of integrity on my part.
6. There's too many people waiting to come to work here (both paid and
volunteer), that I don't want to let down...
7. There's too many wounded people and youth out there that need clear
space, room to pray, and an organization that reaches out to them. There's
nothing quite like the feeling of having a parent come to you and tell you
that something you said or did changed the course of their kid's life for
the better (I have had this happen to me).  We may be all the stand in the
way of some of them going down a bad road.
8. Building a dream that is bigger than just us, is the best thing I can do
for my kids, involve them in building this too. It builds teamwork, a
work-ethic, a desire to help others, the ability to cope and be flexible in
a twisted, chaotic, and franticly paced world, and a knowledge that they are
part of a much larger circle of life than just themselves. What better
things are there to teach my children, aside from how to know and walk with
God in faith on a daily basis?
9. I want to leave a legacy behind of people working together to reach out
to wounded people, and of wounded people finding healing.
10. I want people to see, know, and understand that God is real, and that
they can trust Him. If I abandon this place without His leading, or become
selfish with it after it's bought, and don't follow through, I dishonor my
God, and risk His wrath. Sorry, but I'm not going there...... :-)

As for your concern that I would personally gain from this, it is already my
family's plan to move offsite as soon as feasible in order to provide some
separation between family and work life. God specifically told me, before I
had even met Karen, that this place needed to be a home before it could be a
ranch or lodge. I recognize and acknowledge this. The ranch lodge has been
our home now for about a year and a half, and we have made huge steps
towards making it comfortable and workable as a home/lodge. To this end, I
also believe I already know where we will eventually move to, and me and
that owner have already discussed it, and they are tentatively willing to
sell it to me, once he gets some things in order, and once my own income
comes up.

I also know that it is not my long term destiny to run this ranch forever. I
already recognize this also. I believe I am only supposed to build it, then
hand it off to someone better equipped and with more training than I, to
take it to its full potential (who that is I don't know yet). Nevertheless,
I am prepared to give it whatever time of my life I need in order for this
to happen.

In spite of everything I have just said, I am also currently praying and
fasting about whether or not God wants me to continue to try to make this
dream happen, or to move on to something else immediately. I want to be in
the center of HIS will, not mine.

Does this help answer your questions and concerns? Thoughts? Feedback?

Sincerely,

-Tim
208-392-6723