12-8-2004

Dear Friends,

It is snowing here. It is beautiful *soft smile*. I was outside earlier, just listening to the quiet snow falling, and hearing the snap and bang of branches and trees breaking throughout the area. Kinda cool. Peaceful.

Well, these past several weeks have had several "firsts" for me.....

I ran out of gas on December 1 on the way home late after youth group. Strange set of circumstances that led to it, but I ended up walking home, 8 miles give or take, at midnight, in the half inch deep snow. I was dressed ok, so I didn't get cold, but in the dark, going through bear and mountain lion country at midnight, it was a bit on the scary side. But I used the 3 hour walk to pray and sing worship to God. It was a good time, and one that I specifically got to spend quite some quality time praying for one person in particular that was on my heart that night. I almost had the feeling that God orchestrated the running out of gas, just so I would spend some serious time interceding for this one person. It was good *soft smile*. But it WAS kinda strange, walking home in the dark, with just enough moonlight peeking through occasionally to see fresh mountain lion tracks in the snow following along the road where I was walking. *chuckle*. Boy am I glad I serve a big God *grin*

Another first, so much snow that I couldn't get home yesterday. Ended up shoveling off several hundred yards of road with a shovel I had with me, just to finally get home. We have a foot of snow, give or take, here now. It is absolutely beautiful! :-) Breathtaking, more like. Now I just gotta track down the neighborhood snow plow guy and let him know I exist so he'll plow past my driveway too. I also think the car is likely getting parked for the winter, and it's me and the truck till spring (yes the one with the front wheel drive still not working - grrr - prayer request there).

Another first. A total stonewall from the person that talked about me behind my back. I have contacted them, or tried to, numerous times over the last several weeks, to try to sit down with them and try to figure out what exactly has happened. And absolutely nothing. A total stone wall. This is weird. And it hurts like crazy. And I miss my estranged friend something fierce. Usually, in situations of disagreement, I've always been able to at least talk to the other party eventually, and work through things, one way or the other. But what do you do with some one that absolutely refuses to communicate? It's weird. I am just scratching my head. And from a "Christian" no less. I guess just give them over to God and let Him deal with them. If whatever was said hadn't caused such a rift between me and one of the best friends I have ever had, it wouldn't bother me so much, but...... It got so bad that me and my now estranged friend mutually agreed to give our friendship a break until the situation could be resolved with the one doing the talking. It was the only way to save our friendship, to put it on hold until the situation could be resolved. And I am hitting a total stone wall with it. I could just pull my hair out sometimes! But God is still God, is still on His throne, and I have to be patient sometimes...... Between asking God for patience and wisdom, I guess I should have expected something like this to happen *sad chuckle*.

I have also been leading the services at church while the pastor has been on a missions trip in Mexico to an orphanage down there. This is another first, and one that I have enjoyed. I kinda expect that I'll be taking on more leadership within the church some too, and that is good. I continue to counsel people there that come to me or that God places in my path, and we are seeing some fruit from that too. It is good.

And this is not a first, but it hurts nonetheless. I have another very close friend, with terminal cancer. A woman my age that has consistently been there as my true friend for quite some time now. She has four young children, is a widow, and has cancer that has gone metastatic(sp?) (into lymph system - only a matter of time now before she passes on).  Earlier this year before the cancer, we had even considered her moving here to be onstaff with us as a full registered nurse, but now this....  I have repeatedly asked God for healing for her, but she has only gotten worse. I don't want to lose her, can I say that?  If you think to pray for her, it would be appreciated. Thanks.

So emotionally, the last several weeks have been pretty hard. Grieving over a lost friendship, and then grieving for another friend that I may lose soon, it has been rough. I only have a handful of people in this world that I trust enough to call my best friends, and to lose two of them in such short order is hard. Yet in the midst of it, I stand firm. I have to. I WILL still worship my God, I WILL NOT deny my King, and Satan WILL BE DEFEATED!

As for ranch stuff, during the last several weeks, I have had four significant meetings with various people. One was with a lady that excels in connecting trades people, looking to maybe put some of them to work up here. The second was with a lady with many contacts in the professional world, looking to help us out that way. The third was with a prayer warrior from Chicago that came out here to meet me and discuss ranch stuff while she was visiting relatives in the area. And the fourth was with an Elder from my church who finally came up to visit and tour the ranch before the snow moved in (the next day). And he said several things during his visit that both impressed me and encouraged me.

As he and I were walking through the conference center, he stopped, paused, and finally turned to me and said something to the effect "God wants to use this place so bad that it is almost painful for Him to see it not being used right now." And he continued, saying that there are so many people He wants to heal here. So many people that He wants to meet here. So many people that He wants to touch here. And it set me back on my heels some to consider that it might be grieving the Holy Spirit that I have not got this place farther along towards operation. Talk about "OUCH" time. It gave me pause to consider my heart, repent, and focus on His work here, instead of letting discouragement and other distractions get to me.

And then as he and I sat down to lunch later, he made the comment that there have only been a couple of times in his life where he has felt the presence of God and more specifically His angels, as strongly as here, in a physical location. But he is at least the third person to tell me this, that the presence of God and more specifically, His angels, are strongly present here, so strongly that it can literally be felt.

But I drew deep encouragement from both comments that he made, that God Does indeed have plans for this place, and that I just need to be patient, do my part, and wait on HIM for everything. Even in the midst of loss. Even in the midst of pain. Even in the midst of tears.

I somehow sense growth in me over the last several months. That is good. God is good. It is His nature to be good. Everything He touches HAS to turn out for good. That is just His nature, with no evil there. This has been another revelation to me, just that I CAN trust Him, because of who He is. He is a good God. His nature is good. Nothing He touches will ever turn out bad. And He has touched my life. And I am truly thankful. I am truly thankful.

Sincerely,

-Tim

Tim Benedict
Thorn Creek Conference Center
21 Yellowpine Lane
Boise, ID 83716
208-392-6723
tbenedict@bigskytel.net