1-25-2005

Dear Friends,

How is the new year going for all of you?

A basic webpage is up with some pics and little bit about the ranch, as a link off of the center of the page at http://www.thoughtsfromgod.com , a website that one of the elders at my church runs.

This newsletter is about Faith, and walking in it in regards to what is happening up here.

I've been in a holding pattern here.... After all the flurry of activity and everything of December and the first of January, things feel like they have come to a dead standstill. It's very aggravating. And yet, I still know that God coordinates even the attacks of the enemy.

So all the paperwork is basically ready to get signed and filed, and has been for several weeks. And the funding that I was expecting to pay for all the filing fees (and my bills), hasn't arrived yet, although I was expecting it long before now. Now I wonder if it will materialize at all. The proverbial waves of life are very high.

And if I didn't know that God was ultimately in control, I would be a wreck right now. Too many deadlines, not enough time, and finances dried up.

So what do you do when you have followed God into a situation, and suddenly He seems very far away?

Well, me personally, I first got very discouraged. How many of you can identify with that? In fact, I got deeply discouraged. But that kind of attitude doesn't honor God. How many promises are there in Scripture that talk about His watchcare over those that follow Him? How many times does it say to just cast your cares on Him? How many times does it talk about the faith of different people, that acted on simply a promise, without seeing a humanly possible way for God's specific promise to come true?

So I remind myself of those people in the book of Hebrews hall of fame of faith. I remember the way God has led up until now, all the miracles, the "coincidences", the divine appointments. I remember the people that I respect as being people that know God, that have come up here and been overwhelmed at the sense of His presence here. I KNOW God has something planned for here. And I remember that I am in a battle. That the enemy would like to see us defeated and struck down in discouragement. I remember that to show a light in the darkness of battle is to get shot at, often by both sides.

And I've had to go back to the foundations of what I believe and know to be true. God loves me. God has always taken care of me, and promises to continue to do so. I have asked Him to forgive me for the ways I have dishonored Him in my life. I have asked HIM to be my Lord, my God, my confort, and my master. And if I am truly doing what He has asked of me, He will take care of things, in His time, when timing is perfect. The very character of God demands that He honor His promises in the Bible to His children, that He will take care of them/me. I am human, I miss things, I make mistakes, but I can rest in the knowledge that His very character as a perfect and holy God, demands that He take care of me. It may not always be the way I want, but in the end, it is always perfect. Even death, if it happens while serving Him, is perfect, and good comes out of it.

So I have had to push back those emotions of discouragement, resist the lies that tell me God has forgotten me. I have had to make a conscience choice of will to continue to worship, serve, and honor my God. It wasn't easy to make that choice. I have to keep doing what I know to be is right. I have not heard God tell me to abandon this project, so here I am. I just keep plodding along, not giving in to discouragement, not giving in to laziness, not throwing my hands up in despair. God told me to do something, and until He shuts that door, I just have to keep moving forward, and do my best, and continue to try to live a life that honors Him. It's that simple.

Isaiah 58 comes to mind again. It talks about things that honor God, that He sees, and respects, and answers. Read it. Those are the things I am doing right now. Working with people in prison, and their families (this seems to be growing). Spending time with people in pain, listening to and praying with them. Feeding and taking care of those that come my way. Encouraging those that are facing trials that are hard for me to imagine. I am tryng to do in my personal life everything already that I envision this whole ranch project being about and doing. If I am not faithful in the small things, even when it's hard, how can God trust me with the big? I struggle, sometimes badly, but I keep coming back to this foundational truth. I have to be faithful where I am at, before bigger things will or can happen. It's that simple.

In many ways, I did not want to write this next newsletter until after I had seen God take care of all the problems facing me and the ranch right now. But if I did that, where would the opportunity be for God to show His faithfulness to someone that truly wants to seek and serve Him? I want to give God the glory. And the higher the stakes, the more glory He gets when He finally works things out. The stakes are pretty high right now, can I say that? But in that, the primary emotion I have been feeling is no longer discouragement, but now is almost starting to feel like excitement. I know and trust the character of God. He likes impossible situations. And if I am obedient, the higher the stakes, the more spectacular His work afterwards, and the more He will enjoy working things out. God is real. God is alive. And God loves me (I take comfort in that). I place myself in His hands, ask forgiveness for the discouragement I fell into, and wait in eager anticipation for the salvation of my Lord.

I do not know what comes next or what God is thinking and planning. I am trying to be ready for it, even if it differs from what I have been looking forward to all along.

My single mother friend with the cancer, our friendship is growing deeper. She encourages me. And now it is my turn to encourage her. There are many many things there that are breaking my heart, but I also rest in the promises of God in that too, that He promises to be close to the broken hearted. He promises to hear those that seek Him in their brokenness. Our pain, in His hands, if we allow it and respond in love and not anger/hurt/bitterness, it brings character growth, and I understand and see the reality of that. So I embrace it. And I feel for those of you out there that are dealing with similar situations. Not fun, but if we let God be God, and trust Him, even in death, there is victory.

I am here for you. If you have questions about the ranch, about me, about God, about life, or about anything, I will try to answer to the best of my abilities. And pray with/for you too.

And for me, just pray that I will be the man God is calling me to be, and that He continues to work out the worrisome things in my life in His perfect time.

Sincerely,

Tim Benedict
Thorn Creek Conference Center & Youth Ranch
21 Yellowpine Lane
Boise, ID 83716
208-392-6723